apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
