yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize