Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
