Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
