Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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