I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
