This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
