i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
