Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
