you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
