I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
