Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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