Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
