It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
