I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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