is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
