So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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