Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
