I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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