remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize