Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
