i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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