.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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