He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
