i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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