I love black thongs
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
