K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
