is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
