I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
