you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize