I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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