Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
