I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
