Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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