If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
