i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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