Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she peed on how many people?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
