Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
