For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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