You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
