Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
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