Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
