Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Are my feet made of real feet?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
