I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
