Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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