I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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