obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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