I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize