god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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