It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
