There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
you never un-have a 4some
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
