I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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