nut hugger
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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