Taylor Swift is so right about you.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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