We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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