ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize