I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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