Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
