yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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