uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
