Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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