Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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