i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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