Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
