awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize