I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
