So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
