and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
