is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
