I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
