Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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