Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
