Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
