ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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