So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize