tell your sister to shave her snatch
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
